Synopsis- After awakening the dragon, Smaug, the band of dwarves must defeat Smaug, and then protect the mountain from outside forces.
Initial Response- Not bad, but the movie was pretty much only consisted of the battle. The rising and falling action together probably lasted only forty-five minutes. That may not seem too bad, but the entire movie was about a little under two and a half hours.
Pros- The battle was cool. As the title suggests, it was the clash of five armies, all battling. It was pretty epic. The love story in the last movie between an elf and a dwarf continued and the interracial romance was fascinating. Especially when Legolas got all jealous.
Cons- In my opinion, not much plot. The movie was basically all battling. Thorin was a jerk, people died, Bilbo threw rocks. It didn’t contain much else.
Thus ends the spoiler-free part of the review. Major spoilers ahead!
Graphic/Sexual content- Not really anything to be honest. The only graphic content really is all of the fighting. There wasn’t a whole ton of foul language or major sexual content.
Major Annoyances- Thorin’s death. He should have stabbed the White Orc through the ice to make sure he was dead. I mean, come on, who’s really that stupid? I don’t know if Thorin saw it, but I saw the Orc move under the ice. It was painfully obvious. Even if he thought the Orc was dead, he should have still stabbed him through the ice to ensure his death.
Legolas defying physics. There was a scene where he was fighting an orc on a collapsed bell tower spanning a chasm. There was a part where he got knocked off the tower, and ran up falling rubble to safety. I am aware that Legolas is not human, so he may be able to do superhuman things, but there is no way he could have run up all that rubble, while falling, to make it to safety. We all know they can’t kill Legolas, because he’s in the Lord of the Rings movies, so the suspense they were trying to create completely flopped.
Tauriel playing the damsel in distress. I mean come on, Kili died for her, and Legolas almost did, and she’s just laying on the ground. Yes, I know she’s injured, but people are dying. She didn’t have any major wounds that could affect her mobility, get up and kick some butt girl! Don’t just sit there while these guys are dying for you.
Alfrid. But, then again he’s a character you’re not supposed to like. He’s a major coward, and even dresses like a woman to avoid fighting. It was very frustrating to see him running away.
The amount of time it took them to kill Smaug. It took them, maybe twenty minutes at most. I feel like this bit should have been in the previous movie. I didn’t even remember what exactly had happened in the last movie, but all I can see is one of the dwarves was in a jail cell for some reason, and the others were with some guy’s family etc. It continued the plot from the last movie into twenty minutes of this one and it was very annoying.
Things I Did Like- The women getting up and fighting. It was shown in a brief, twenty second shot, but the women grabbed everything they could find and went and fought with the men. You go girls!
Bilbo was actually useful! He threw rocks at orcs and warned Thorin of the approaching army. He attempted to facilitate peace between the men, elves, and dwarves at the cost of his life. It was nice to see him not being so dead weight.
The battling was pretty epic. It kind of made up for the lack of plot.
Final Thoughts- It was a decent movie, not the best I have ever seen, but not terrible. Just like the other Lord of the Rings movies it was long, but it didn’t contain so many dull moments as some of the other LOTR movies.
PJ Scale Rating- 0, but that’s to be expected, considering the story lines added and many things changed. As mentioned in my other posts, a low score on the PJ scale does not make for a bad movie. (For more information on the PJ scale, check out my other post named as such.)
Overall Rating- 6.5 out of 10
Until later, stay cool and keep dreaming
ThePhilosophicalFangirl (Phil-fa)